How To Get Him To Come To You… And Exactly What To Say When He Does!
There you are, sipping your go-to cocktail, looking fabulous, and wondering why no one has come over yet. You’ve got the dress, the glow, the energy—but the approach? Nonexistent… Let’s fix that!
At Love Principles, we believe in magnetic confidence—aka the art of getting a man to come to you without saying a word… until he does. Here’s your step-by-step guide to turning a casual night out into a chapter of your next love story.
Step 1: Choose Your Spot Like a Queen
Position yourself strategically. The bar is prime real estate—he has to come there eventually. Grab a seat with a view (and an empty one next to you). Look comfortable but not buried in your phone. Remember, approachable doesn’t mean desperate—it means open.
Step 2: Eye Contact is Your Superpower
The #1 complaint I hear from men? “I never know if she’s interested!” So help him out:
• Catch his eye.
• Hold eye contact for 2–3 seconds.
• Add a subtle smile.
• Then look away.
This is the green light he’s been waiting for.
Step 3: The ‘I’m Worth Talking To’ Body Language
Uncross your arms, angle your body toward the room (not the wall), and let your vibe say, ‘I’m having a great time—and you’d be lucky to join me.’ Bonus points for laughing at your friend’s joke or nodding along to the music. Energy is contagious.
Step 4: When He Approaches… What Do You Say?
Here’s where a lot of women freeze. But not you—not anymore.
Let’s make this simple. When he comes over with a “Hey,” you don’t need a TED Talk. You just need one of these playful openers:
A. “Took you long enough.”
Delivered with a smirk, this one is gold. It’s flirty, confident, and challenges him to keep up.
B. “I was just wondering who would come say hi first—you or the guy in the corner.”
Competitive and fun. You’ve set the tone: This conversation is going to be different.
C. “You look like trouble. Should I be concerned?”
He’ll probably laugh—and that’s the whole point.
D. “Okay, so what’s your story?”
Direct, intriguing, and shows you’re open to hearing more than just his name.
Step 5: Keep It Light, But Don’t Dim Your Standards
Your goal is to connect, not impress. Ask questions, share your perspective, and don’t be afraid to be a little cheeky. And if the chemistry’s not there? You’re still a goddess who got approached—walk away with your head high and your confidence intact.
You’re Not Waiting, You’re Choosing
Getting approached isn’t about playing damsel—it’s about inviting connection. When you walk into a room like you belong there, look around like you’re open to magic, and respond with your unique sparkle—you don’t chase love, you attract it.
Now go out, grab your drink, and remember: You’re the prize.
Want more tips like this? Follow Love Principles on Instagram and apply for our one-on-one coaching sessions below.
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Ready to Attract & Keep your dream partner?
Sonia Welch Tapley, Certified Dating Coach
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Sonia is a Certified Love Coach dedicated to empowering women with the confidence to date with intention, and attract high-quality men who truly align with your dreams and aspirations.
Ever wonder why a guy suddenly goes MIA without any explanation? Curious about how to effortlessly draw in more high-value partners who appreciate you? Not quite sure when to take things to the next level in a budding romance? Don’t worry, because Sonia has all the answers to help you navigate the waters of love like a seasoned pro and build the relationship you truly deserve and desire.
With the comprehensive Love Principles System, she’ll guide you in finding the right kind of partner while gracefully saying bye-bye to the wrong ones—so you can create a love story that’s genuinely worth your precious time. She’ll help you make dating fun, enjoyable, empowering, and totally aligned with your authentic self!
Disclaimer: The dating coaching and information shared on the Love Principles blog are intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional therapy or mental health services. While we provide insights and strategies to enhance your personal and relational well-being, it is important to consult a licensed mental health professional for any psychological issues or concerns you may have.
